Speaking of talent....

I had a conversation with a sweet, encouraging friend of mine yesterday and I wanted to share some of the things we talked about. We talked about talent and desires mostly.  It has always been my belief (and I think it has gotten clearer as I've gotten older), that God plants these talents in our being when we are just little children.   I'm sure even before we are born, God is working out what gifts we are each going to have and what opportunities He will give us to expand and share these talents with the world.  I do not believe for a minute that even one person is left out of the talent pool. Although, admittedly I feel left out often when I'm surrounded by such talented people, who are gifted in things like music, art, athletism.  Those things are the more visible abilities in life, that I think most people at some point, wish they had more of.  But, just because you aren't the best soccer player, or you can't sing worth a lick (like me), it doesn't mean that you are left out in the talent department.  I think so much time is spent during the teen years and maybe even early twenties trying to figure out what you want to do with your life. What is it that you are good at doing? For those of us who aren't blessed with an astounding singing voice, or aren't as brilliant as our brother ;), might have a harder time figuring that out. But, I think there are clues to help us along the way. 

I'm not sure God will give someone a talent without planting at least a small desire to use what has been given to them. This is where desires come in.  True desires of your heart. The last few years, I have been made aware, or rather have been reawakened with these desires in my heart. I've realized that over time, if you allow God, He will give you the opportunity to play out these desires, desires that you probably have had since you were a little kid.  Desires that you probably forgot about, or pushed out of your head.  Big dreams that for one reason or another, you started believing could never really happen. I believe there are so many things that keep us from realizing, or remembering these wants that we have.  I think most people, when they are kids do dream of being great people, doing great things with their life. Maybe friends, parents, family, circumstances slowly start to eat away at these dreams.  And those desires to be something, and to use those God given talents start to fade away. By our teenage years, we have forgotten most of them, or ignore them. Our mindset changes from the child like faith of "I'm going to do this", to "There's no way that will ever happen".  We lose faith because our hearts are torn down by negatives words and thought patterns, and even society's statements to "be realistic".  All those desires and big dreams just don't seem possible anymore.   

But, that is not how God desires us to work. I remember when I was little, there were things that I wanted in life.  Some big things, some random things.  Just things that I didn't know why, but I wanted.  I remember one of the earliest ones - I wanted to be an author.  In 4th grade, I started doing a lot of writing and even won an regional contest on a essay I wrote about the life of my grandfather. Not a major achievement, but a small "something" that started this desire of mine.  In 5th grade, I went for a couple days to Troy University to an author's conference.  I took some classes and got to meet a famous author.  I didn't have a clue on what I wanted to write on, I just knew I enjoyed writing and felt like it was something I was good at.  But, life happened and I got busy with other, more social activities as I got older.  That dream, although never really going away, was sort of pushed to the back of my mind.  Another dream I had was to go to Africa.  I remember learning about different countries in Africa and had no idea what I would do over there, it was just the one place in all the world that I wanted to visit. And as all young girls do, I dreamed of my future husband. The perfect man for me. But, as with all things, life happened, hurt happened.  Devastating relationships happened. Not only was divorce all around me, but hurtful experiences I had with guys made me lose the hope that there really was "the right guy" out there for me. By the time I was in my late teens, very early twenties....I did not believe I would ever truly be happy with a truly wonderful man. That part of life would not exist for me. I thought I probably would end up getting married one day, but not to someone that I truly believed was the right person for me. I would simply be a content wife.  But, as many of you know....I have actually been blessed to have that sort of love in my life, twice.  When I was 21, I met an amazing guy, Craig; someone that I really thought was too good to be true.  He proposed to me 7 months after we started dating (I knew as soon as we started dating that I would marry him). I had a hard time at first really believing that I would be worthy enough to have someone like him. With all my mistakes, God would really send me the man of my dreams? But, He did! We got married 6 months later and had an amazing 15 months of marriage.  Craig passed away in the fall of 2006 from cancer.  I'm sure I will write more on that later.  But, the point is.....those desires of having a wonderful marriage with my perfect guy....God granted me those desires!  And then, when I really had no desire to seriously date anyone, God sent me another man.  Another perfect man for me.  (Don't get me wrong, no one is perfect.  But, we all have ideas on what our perfect person will be like ).  I especially didn't think that was possible after losing such a great love. I really didn't believe that God could have made another guy as good as Craig was.  But, again....He did!  And He sent Chris to me at the perfect time.  So, almost 3 years after I lost Craig, God blessed me with another incredible man and incredible marriage. So, that dream to marry the perfect guy for me....God always knew that deep desire of my heart. Even after losing my first husband, He wanted me to still live out that dream and made it possible, despite my fears and doubts. And the other desires I had when I was little.....I got to go to Africa in 2007.  A dream come true.  And I loved it.  There was no way God was going to plant that dream in my heart when I was just a child and then have it wasted on a bad experience or for no purpose.  I went on a short term mission trip with my father-in-law and still have the desire to go back one day.  I'm not sure how much I helped the kids we visited, but I know it changed my life forever. And the thought and idea of being an author one day....well it's hasn't quite come to fruition yet, but it is in the process.  I have been slowly working on a book about my experience with Craig, the cancer, and about 50 years worth of marriage in 15 months. I have no doubt that God will allow me to accomplish my desire of being an author. I don't care at all if it sells 10 copies or a thousand.  I just know it is something I am meant to do. 

To sum up my belief on talent and desires of the heart....I believe God plants these seeds of desire in your heart when you are a tiny, little kid.  And then He gives you the ability, the talent to reach these dreams. We just have to make sure that the enemy doesn't get a hold of that faith that is needed to accomplish our dreams or the confidence to use the gift we are given. Because, if we allow him, the enemy will surely try to screw it up.  He will do everything he can to prevent you from doing what God has designed you to do.

I still wonder today, what are some of my big ideas I had as a kid that I have forgotten.  I'm sure there are at least some wants that I had that will surface again and I so look forward to it!  I know God has a purpose for every dream, every desire, every attribute someone possesses.  And I am so excited to keep discovering mine and using it for His glory. That's really what it is all about. So, please don't lose sight of those dreams, think BIG, but believe Bigger.  Have the faith that God does want to use you and share you with the world.