Eat Pray Love

Chris and I watched Eat Pray Love the other night and we both really loved it. The material was so clever and inspiring and funny and sad. I hope people don't take this the wrong way, but I completely identified with Julia Robert's character, Liz in so many ways. I know a lot of young women who would agree with me when they are brutally honest with themselves. I liked that they made her character so identifiable even if you aren't going through or had been through exactly what she experienced.

There were so many lines that jumped out at me, or resonated with me and spoke to my soul. I just wanted to share some of them with you. They are so good; I hope you will like them as much as I did and that it encourages you in some way. If you haven't seen the movie, go rent it! :)

"I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest." A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you."

"Attraversiamo: Let's cross over (let's trust each other)"

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake."

"Its not that I want easy, I just can't have so hard!"

"So BE lonely...Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings."

"Ruin is the road to transformation."

"Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself."

"I remember asking myself one night, while I was curled up in the same old corner of my same old couch in tears yet again over the same old repetition of sorrowful thoughts, 'Is there ANYTHING about this scene you can change, Liz?' And all I could think to do was stand up, while still sobbing, and try to balance on one foot in the middle of the living room. Just to prove that - while I couldn't stop the tears or change my dismal interior dialogue - I was not yet totally out of control: at least I could cry hysterically while balanced on one foot."

‎"You're going to have to learn to select your thoughts the same way you select your clothes every day. Now that's a power that you can cultivate. You want to come here and you want to control your life so bad work on the mind, and I don't think you should be trying to control a thing because if you can't master your thoughts you are in trouble forever."

  

"You don't need a man, you need a champion."

“In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place.”

"It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection."

"Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots."

"You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions."

"Desiring another person is perhaps the most risky endeavor of all. As soon as you want somebody—really want him—it is as though you have taken a surgical needle and sutured your happiness to the skin of that person, so that any separation will now cause a lacerating injury"

"This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something. "

"Stop trying. just surrender. Why can't you just be?"

‎"If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in—God will rush in—and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed."

"The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams." 

"Maybe, you're a woman in search of her word."

"If you want to get to the castle, you've got to swim through the moat"

"One must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation."

"Do you think any of us know what were doing? Do you think there's any ways
humans can love each other without complication?...It's still two human
beings trying to get along so its going to become complicated. And love
is always complicated. But still humans must try to love each other,
darling. We must get our hearts broken sometimes. THIS IS A GOOD THING, HAVING A BROKEN HEART. IT MEANS WE TRIED FOR SOMETHING."

"There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts." 

"The only way to heal is to trust!"

 Aren't those great quotes? I hope you enjoy them as much as I do! And that they somehow will affect you in a good way....encourage you, or just to let you know you aren't alone in feeling what you feel or desiring what you do. Go buy the book or at least rent the movie! I think you'll like it! :)  

 Love,

Victoria 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Accountability?

One of my biggest questions in life lately has been, "what has happened to accountability"? If you are someone's friend and you see them getting involved with something they shouldn't, wouldn't the right and normal thing to do would be to gently and with love, talk to your friend about it? Not go and tell another friend that you think your friend is doing something wrong and then never say anything to the friend that is in trouble. Why don't people address things directly? From experience, I've seen it happen over and over and over again and it just confuses me. I don't think that it makes you a bad person, but I do think that if you claim to be a best friend to someone you should feel comfortable enough talking with them about these things.
Why do we brag about being honest and then never approach problems/people/situations directly? We always tend to hear it from a friend that we have made someone upset , not directly from that person. This happens in every area of our life it seems...work, friendships, church, family. Every area and I don't think there are good reasons why this is. I guess I'm talking about two different things here, accountability and honesty...but they both lead back to just being honest with one another. Do good friends use the excuse, "it was none of my business"? That goes directly against what God tells us. If a friend thinks I am engaging in something I shouldn't, and they come to me in love, I will only appreciate that. You never know what you are going to say may change things drastically and prevent a lot of hurt of a lot of people. And also, what about standards and accountability in our churches? Of course every person is not perfect and will always mess up at some point, but do we act like if it isnt talked about, then we just won't have to deal with it? If people are able to keep things under wraps just enough, then we won't have to really hold them accountable because it will be like nothing ever really happened.

I am challenging myself to this also, to handle things more directly and to help hold my loved ones and friends accountable....I know they do the same for me. I don't know what I would do without my closest, loyals asking questions and making me really think about things that I just try to push back. They have helped hold me accountable in more ways than they realize. That's the type of friend and Christian I want to be.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings! :)

Life Together

Yes, I haven't blogged in months and months... About a year really. Being pregnant and extremely uncomfortable, I just decided to not do it for a while. So, a lot has changed since the last time I signed in to our blog and it desperately needs to be updated! But for now, just let me say that being a mom to our sweet Emery is amazing. She is the joy of my life and is simply amazing. She is so smart and sweet and funny and beautiful. I love watching her grow and learn every day. I will write more about her very soon, but someone else is on my heart tonight tonight. And it's the people we "do life with".

Back in May, I really thought my life was changing and not for the better. And instead of reaching out to my friends, I closed up. Partly due to embarrassment, partly to pressure to keep quiet(not from my husband, let me clarify that) :) and partly just for me to have time to figure things out myself. After about 3 weeks I finally attempted to reach out to a friend and confide in her the truth of situations playing out in our life...and the talk went ok. I was grateful for a listening ear and promises of prayer.

And THEN, the next week it was God's turn. :) If I had only been a little more patient. Within 3 days, He had orchestrated 3 unplanned visits with 3 of my closest friends and prayer partners. And I can't even put into words what that did for me. There were tears, lots of encouragement and prayers, questions, concerns and confirmations, wanted advice and suggestions, no judgment, complete openness and honesty....mainly, just love and encouragement. It's such a difference when you wait on God's timing. It really is always perfect.

These people He sent me are the people I was meant to do life with. These are the people I can trust and depend on. These are the people that have supported and believed in Chris and I from the beginning. They know we've made mistakes, but they are still, now continuing to show us they believe in us and support us. These are the people I call our "loyals". :) They have been there for me personally through the deaths of all my loved ones. They were there for our wedding showers, bachelorette/bachelor party, our wedding. We've spent holidays and birthdays with these friends. The girls co-hosted a baby shower for me and Emery. The husbands asked the wives when they could come up to the hospital to see Chris when the baby was sick. They didn't have to be asked. They all blew me away with their support, pray, encouragement and love when Emery was born and then was in the NICU. These are our loyals. And I can't tell you how blessed I am by them. Especially lately. I know there have been many times where they could have easily felt snubbed by us, being "too busy" for them in the past. But they accept us and our choices and love us no matter.:) I am striving to be a better friend to all of them. I hope they all know that even though we may not talk or see each other as often as we like, I pray for you all the time. And am so, so thankful for your friendship in our lives. You are family to us. I know you are always always there for us and we are the same for you. And mostly I am thankful to my God. He knows the people you will connect with and He sends them to you during the right times in your life. He knew years ago when my mom was going to CLC and was also looking for a hairstylist...He connected my mom with Lauren Holmes, now Lauren Bobe, who was the first girl I knew in Pensacola. And over the years I feel like she is now one of my loyals. HE DESIGNED that long ago. He knew the moments she was going to be there for me...I remember her playing with my hair while I sat on the couch that October afternoon when everyone gathered at the house. And her crazy night with my sis and husband to be for our Bach/Bach party. And her doing my hair a gazillon times and special times like for my wedding. :) and all our good conversations. I remember all of that and more and am so thankful that my God arranged her to be in my life. And the same goes for my sister Traycie. It's a bit more complicated how He arranged her to be in my life, but what an amazing story and testament to God's love. We are both aware of how unusual it is for us to still be so close, but I think we are both equally as grateful. She has truly become a best friend and like she says, like a true sister. I feel that way about all my sister-in-laws. They are my loyals as well and I hope they consider me as one as well. :) I will have to dedicate an entire post just to Traycie and my sisters, it would just take up too much time.;) sorry Traycie. ;) if you've gotten this far, hooray for you!

It's now after 2:00 and I am afraid I am starting to just ramble. Thank you for sticking with me for those of you that have. :) I really just wanted to show my appreciation to my friends, the incredible people that I am so blessed and honored to "do life with". I hope we get to do life together for a very long tihankYhank you for everything you are and do for me and my family! I love you all!