One of my biggest questions in life lately has been, "what has happened to accountability"? If you are someone's friend and you see them getting involved with something they shouldn't, wouldn't the right and normal thing to do would be to gently and with love, talk to your friend about it? Not go and tell another friend that you think your friend is doing something wrong and then never say anything to the friend that is in trouble. Why don't people address things directly? From experience, I've seen it happen over and over and over again and it just confuses me. I don't think that it makes you a bad person, but I do think that if you claim to be a best friend to someone you should feel comfortable enough talking with them about these things.
Why do we brag about being honest and then never approach problems/people/situations directly? We always tend to hear it from a friend that we have made someone upset , not directly from that person. This happens in every area of our life it seems...work, friendships, church, family. Every area and I don't think there are good reasons why this is. I guess I'm talking about two different things here, accountability and honesty...but they both lead back to just being honest with one another. Do good friends use the excuse, "it was none of my business"? That goes directly against what God tells us. If a friend thinks I am engaging in something I shouldn't, and they come to me in love, I will only appreciate that. You never know what you are going to say may change things drastically and prevent a lot of hurt of a lot of people. And also, what about standards and accountability in our churches? Of course every person is not perfect and will always mess up at some point, but do we act like if it isnt talked about, then we just won't have to deal with it? If people are able to keep things under wraps just enough, then we won't have to really hold them accountable because it will be like nothing ever really happened.
I am challenging myself to this also, to handle things more directly and to help hold my loved ones and friends accountable....I know they do the same for me. I don't know what I would do without my closest, loyals asking questions and making me really think about things that I just try to push back. They have helped hold me accountable in more ways than they realize. That's the type of friend and Christian I want to be.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings! :)
Friday, July 22, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Life Together
Yes, I haven't blogged in months and months... About a year really. Being pregnant and extremely uncomfortable, I just decided to not do it for a while. So, a lot has changed since the last time I signed in to our blog and it desperately needs to be updated! But for now, just let me say that being a mom to our sweet Emery is amazing. She is the joy of my life and is simply amazing. She is so smart and sweet and funny and beautiful. I love watching her grow and learn every day. I will write more about her very soon, but someone else is on my heart tonight tonight. And it's the people we "do life with".
Back in May, I really thought my life was changing and not for the better. And instead of reaching out to my friends, I closed up. Partly due to embarrassment, partly to pressure to keep quiet(not from my husband, let me clarify that) :) and partly just for me to have time to figure things out myself. After about 3 weeks I finally attempted to reach out to a friend and confide in her the truth of situations playing out in our life...and the talk went ok. I was grateful for a listening ear and promises of prayer.
And THEN, the next week it was God's turn. :) If I had only been a little more patient. Within 3 days, He had orchestrated 3 unplanned visits with 3 of my closest friends and prayer partners. And I can't even put into words what that did for me. There were tears, lots of encouragement and prayers, questions, concerns and confirmations, wanted advice and suggestions, no judgment, complete openness and honesty....mainly, just love and encouragement. It's such a difference when you wait on God's timing. It really is always perfect.
These people He sent me are the people I was meant to do life with. These are the people I can trust and depend on. These are the people that have supported and believed in Chris and I from the beginning. They know we've made mistakes, but they are still, now continuing to show us they believe in us and support us. These are the people I call our "loyals". :) They have been there for me personally through the deaths of all my loved ones. They were there for our wedding showers, bachelorette/bachelor party, our wedding. We've spent holidays and birthdays with these friends. The girls co-hosted a baby shower for me and Emery. The husbands asked the wives when they could come up to the hospital to see Chris when the baby was sick. They didn't have to be asked. They all blew me away with their support, pray, encouragement and love when Emery was born and then was in the NICU. These are our loyals. And I can't tell you how blessed I am by them. Especially lately. I know there have been many times where they could have easily felt snubbed by us, being "too busy" for them in the past. But they accept us and our choices and love us no matter.:) I am striving to be a better friend to all of them. I hope they all know that even though we may not talk or see each other as often as we like, I pray for you all the time. And am so, so thankful for your friendship in our lives. You are family to us. I know you are always always there for us and we are the same for you. And mostly I am thankful to my God. He knows the people you will connect with and He sends them to you during the right times in your life. He knew years ago when my mom was going to CLC and was also looking for a hairstylist...He connected my mom with Lauren Holmes, now Lauren Bobe, who was the first girl I knew in Pensacola. And over the years I feel like she is now one of my loyals. HE DESIGNED that long ago. He knew the moments she was going to be there for me...I remember her playing with my hair while I sat on the couch that October afternoon when everyone gathered at the house. And her crazy night with my sis and husband to be for our Bach/Bach party. And her doing my hair a gazillon times and special times like for my wedding. :) and all our good conversations. I remember all of that and more and am so thankful that my God arranged her to be in my life. And the same goes for my sister Traycie. It's a bit more complicated how He arranged her to be in my life, but what an amazing story and testament to God's love. We are both aware of how unusual it is for us to still be so close, but I think we are both equally as grateful. She has truly become a best friend and like she says, like a true sister. I feel that way about all my sister-in-laws. They are my loyals as well and I hope they consider me as one as well. :) I will have to dedicate an entire post just to Traycie and my sisters, it would just take up too much time.;) sorry Traycie. ;) if you've gotten this far, hooray for you!
It's now after 2:00 and I am afraid I am starting to just ramble. Thank you for sticking with me for those of you that have. :) I really just wanted to show my appreciation to my friends, the incredible people that I am so blessed and honored to "do life with". I hope we get to do life together for a very long tihankYhank you for everything you are and do for me and my family! I love you all!
Back in May, I really thought my life was changing and not for the better. And instead of reaching out to my friends, I closed up. Partly due to embarrassment, partly to pressure to keep quiet(not from my husband, let me clarify that) :) and partly just for me to have time to figure things out myself. After about 3 weeks I finally attempted to reach out to a friend and confide in her the truth of situations playing out in our life...and the talk went ok. I was grateful for a listening ear and promises of prayer.
And THEN, the next week it was God's turn. :) If I had only been a little more patient. Within 3 days, He had orchestrated 3 unplanned visits with 3 of my closest friends and prayer partners. And I can't even put into words what that did for me. There were tears, lots of encouragement and prayers, questions, concerns and confirmations, wanted advice and suggestions, no judgment, complete openness and honesty....mainly, just love and encouragement. It's such a difference when you wait on God's timing. It really is always perfect.
These people He sent me are the people I was meant to do life with. These are the people I can trust and depend on. These are the people that have supported and believed in Chris and I from the beginning. They know we've made mistakes, but they are still, now continuing to show us they believe in us and support us. These are the people I call our "loyals". :) They have been there for me personally through the deaths of all my loved ones. They were there for our wedding showers, bachelorette/bachelor party, our wedding. We've spent holidays and birthdays with these friends. The girls co-hosted a baby shower for me and Emery. The husbands asked the wives when they could come up to the hospital to see Chris when the baby was sick. They didn't have to be asked. They all blew me away with their support, pray, encouragement and love when Emery was born and then was in the NICU. These are our loyals. And I can't tell you how blessed I am by them. Especially lately. I know there have been many times where they could have easily felt snubbed by us, being "too busy" for them in the past. But they accept us and our choices and love us no matter.:) I am striving to be a better friend to all of them. I hope they all know that even though we may not talk or see each other as often as we like, I pray for you all the time. And am so, so thankful for your friendship in our lives. You are family to us. I know you are always always there for us and we are the same for you. And mostly I am thankful to my God. He knows the people you will connect with and He sends them to you during the right times in your life. He knew years ago when my mom was going to CLC and was also looking for a hairstylist...He connected my mom with Lauren Holmes, now Lauren Bobe, who was the first girl I knew in Pensacola. And over the years I feel like she is now one of my loyals. HE DESIGNED that long ago. He knew the moments she was going to be there for me...I remember her playing with my hair while I sat on the couch that October afternoon when everyone gathered at the house. And her crazy night with my sis and husband to be for our Bach/Bach party. And her doing my hair a gazillon times and special times like for my wedding. :) and all our good conversations. I remember all of that and more and am so thankful that my God arranged her to be in my life. And the same goes for my sister Traycie. It's a bit more complicated how He arranged her to be in my life, but what an amazing story and testament to God's love. We are both aware of how unusual it is for us to still be so close, but I think we are both equally as grateful. She has truly become a best friend and like she says, like a true sister. I feel that way about all my sister-in-laws. They are my loyals as well and I hope they consider me as one as well. :) I will have to dedicate an entire post just to Traycie and my sisters, it would just take up too much time.;) sorry Traycie. ;) if you've gotten this far, hooray for you!
It's now after 2:00 and I am afraid I am starting to just ramble. Thank you for sticking with me for those of you that have. :) I really just wanted to show my appreciation to my friends, the incredible people that I am so blessed and honored to "do life with". I hope we get to do life together for a very long tihankYhank you for everything you are and do for me and my family! I love you all!
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